The Journey

One of the main reasons we name this site "The Journey" was because we knew going into this it was going to be a journey for both of us. We have both had our ups and our downs. For me it has been more then just a weight loss journey but as I like to call it a health journey. It started for me with getting my health on the right track, in this there are stages I have to take to become the best I can be. The first stage for me is spirituality. I have to get my life back on track with Christ... For I can try any and all diet or weight loss plans out there (and I have) But I know that I will not make it without putting Christ first in my life. In this stage I make time for Christ in my each and every day. I put my focus off of food and make Him the highlight of my day and reason for living. Stage two for me is what I call the redefine stage. In this stage is where I put it out front, define where life went wrong, how I become this way and what I need to "lose" in my life. Be it some foods, bad habits, TV, computer etc... The next stage for me is what I call my "Choice" stage. In this stage I make the right choices in, what I eat and what I do. I cut the calories and eat the best that God has to offer. I don't do "can" and I stay away from pointless fats. In this stage I also make the choice to move. I try to exercise at least 3 to 4 times a week. The last stage for me is the "Live it" stage. This is one of the most important stages I will face.. Without going through the first stage I will fail on this big time. My journey is for a lifetime. I am currently making the right choices for me to get the most out of life. Like I said it has been hard at times but I am getting back up when I fall and trying again. So far it seems to be working. The 1st week I started I lost like a lot. I am still losing big and don't want to stop now. Who knows if it all works out in the end maybe I will write a book on it... (doesn't the world need another weight loss book?!?! ) I will try to keep you more updated on my journey but as you know things take time.. And right now in my life God has given me time. I give a big thanks to all who support our journey. In Christ we can do all things!! With the support of friends and family and some of the biggest loser contestants I have met along the way I have seen great things happen and can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

"Sometimes people will hear you and be able to change their behavior, but often their behavior has more to do with their own need for approval than with your need for support. No matter what their response, you need to be firm and hold your ground. At the end of the day, your health is your responsibility." — Jillian Michaels

In His Grip,
Jonathan

A New Year

So we are a few days into our new year - I still can't believe it is 2010. My little girl will be 2, I will have my ten-year high school reunion, and I'll have been married for four years. But I am also praying this year will be a year of healing for me - in relationships with God, my marriage, my family but in addition, a year of healing physically. For me, a lot of that is weight-related. I proactively started living a healthier lifestyle in November and in my weigh-in yesterday, found that I've now lost a total of ten pounds. I've not lost as much over the past three weeks with the kids being out of school; I've not exercised nearly as much as I like to or want.

I know I should be happy about that ten pounds - it's 1/9 of my goal to a healthy weight. However, it makes me a bit nervous and I don't feel like it's a major achievement. I can drop 10 pounds fairly easily and this time, I did it in about a month. But I've been fluxing ten over and under the 225 mark for the last year and a half. In some ways I don't feel like my weight loss journey begins until I get to 200; that is what I had gotten down to before I got pregnant with Emily. But from past experience, when I lose about 25-30 pounds, I then start feeling better about myself and get sloppy. Then the weight will creep back on plus some. I want this to be a lifestyle change for me but I am apprehensive right now and am reluctant to celebrate.

But anyway, here are my stats for the week:

Starting weight (11/24/09): 236
Last week's weight: 228
Current weight: 226
Total pounds lost: -10

Week One is Almost Done!

Starting to exercise again after a long hiatus has not been easy, though not necessarily difficult. Sore, though. :0)

This week has not been a bad exercise routine - basically it has been a prep week for week 3. Basically 4 days of moderate walking for 20 minutes, and then 3 days of moderate walking for 30 minutes. I really felt it the first day, but today was very good! I have got to start doing pilates and yoga a couple of times a week in addition, though - I'm very stiff, which I normally get if I'm not doing any sort of cross-training, which I'm not at this stage!

The hardest part has been pacing myself - I want to do more, but I know I'm a bit obsessive sometimes, and I want to be able to build up my endurance so this becomes a lasting thing. I also struggle with shin splints, so I'm trying to be proactive to prevent it. The extra 80 pounds I need to lose didn't come on overnight, and neither will it come off that fast!

The emotional pondering have hit me hard though - my walking time is a very reflective time for me, and I see many ways how where I am at spiritually parallel where I am with my weight. This past year and half has been, overall, a very dark time for me. Going through the emotionally havoc of having a baby, then grieving our kids at Calvary Home as we moved to Georgia... I remember crying months later that I just wanted to go "home". Jonathan gentle reprimanded me that home is where our family is, and that was just it - my kids there were part of our family and part of my heart had been ripped out. I could not heal it. Then as things just did not work with Jonathan being a SAHD for his well being, and I could not handle working full time because of the sacrifices I had to make against my family; to say we both struggled with depression during that time is too simple of statement.

I have sensed that this period in our lives, in my life personally, is coming into a healing time, and slowly but surely, I see myself taking slow steps back to God - not necessarily to where I was, but to where He has planned for me and our family. I'm not sure where or what that is, but old desires and passions that He initially planted in my heart are slowly coming back to the surface again. In the meantime, I am trying to simply just be obedient to Him, in all areas!

Back in the Saddle Again

Debbie here.

It's been five months since I've last updated this site, which I detest myself for. But I'm back, and I'm posting again. A bit hesitantly, but here I am.

Jonathan and I created this blog to track our weight-loss journey. However, this journey has not been something I've been dealing with just since having Emily, but since I was preteen. Psychologically, it was probably a combination of things - mom's death, my inability to process our family changes well, being a total uncool social outcast in school, and the list could go on. It's been almost a 20 year struggle for me.

I've had serious bouts of weight-loss in the past - after college I was motivated to lose 30 pounds when I hit the 200 pound mark on the scale, mostly through a Bible study called The Lord's Table, and I was keeping it off. I was jogging almost everyday and loved it. But four months before I was to get married, I got mono and was put on exercise restriction. I took two weeks to recover, but relapsed two months later, and it took even longer to start feeling better that time around, especially with the wedding stress. I wasn't allowed to exercise at all (besides casual walking), and was frustered when the pounds started adding on, and that I wasn't looking how I wanted to look at our wedding, but instead focused on that that day was about Jonathan and I, and not my physical appearance. The stress ate away at my discipline towards food, and all the weight I had lost I gained back plus an extra 30 pounds.

A year after Jonathan and I got married, we wanted to start trying for a baby. A few months into it, we still weren't pregnant, and I got serious about my weight and health. To this day, I believe it was the combination of forty pounds of weight loss (this time with The New Atkins Nutritional Approach) and chiropractic wellness that finally was the ticket to me getting pregnant. I was very happy with the manageable weight gain during pregnancy until I hit the 9th month, and then hello toxemia and bed rest. My last weight-in prior to delivery, I was 250 pounds, though the last 15 of those were mostly water from the toxemia and kidney malfunction. The first twenty-five of those 250 came off in the first six weeks, but then it stopped.

It has stilled stopped.

Emily is eighteen months old next week. And I've been fluxing ten pounds over and under that 225 mark. I tried to go back onto Atkins, but with my crazy work schedule last year, I could not stick with the food restrictions. Add to the difficulties we've had personally since Emily was born, and I started turning to food again to soothe my heart. I also had not been able to get back into a stable exercise routine again - I've missed jogging and Pilate's, but being so out of shape, I didn't want to get motivated.

But then I took two our of girls clothes shopping last week. And in the dressing room I saw my full self in those 3-way store mirrors and it was awful. Fat frumpy housewife. And there were my girls, beautiful and energetic while trying on new dresses, the same age I was when I started to gain weight - girls that are currently going through the trying emotional times that I similarly went through at their age. I saw me then and saw my now, and it was a knife in my heart.

I have to change.

For them, for Emily, for Jonathan, for myself, for my relationship with God. So I've started changing a few things. First, learning to once again be disciplined with my eating - learning to eat when I'm hungry and stop while I'm full and seeking God to fill my heart instead of food when the cravings come. I'm also watching my nutrition more closely. Secondly, I've started walking again in the mornings and have really enjoyed the peacefulness of it though I can't believe I'm starting a new walking regime in the cold and wet months of the year! I've started on a twelve-week journey to be able to start jogging again. It's been tempting to do more than is recommended at this point, because I know what I was able to do, but I also know this is something that needs to be a permanent change.

So it's Tuesday, and my day to weigh in, so here it is! Sorry this was a long post, but for once I think I need to stop hiding behind myself, and become accountable for what I've let myself become.

Starting weight (11/24/2009): 236
Last week's weight: 232
Current weight: 230
Total pounds lost: -6

It's just another manic Monday...

(yes, you can start singing along!)

...but it's a weighing Monday, so here is our latest numbers.

Jonathan:
- Starting weight (1/1/2009): 341
- Last week's weight: 339
- Current weight: 336
Total pounds lost: -5

Debbie:
- Starting weight (1/1/2009): 230
- Last week's weight: 227
- Current weight: 223
Total pounds lost: -7

We are well on our way to weight loss, so I'm off to go make Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas for us for dinner tonight (at 6 pts a serving). Adios! :-)

Weigh In Day!

It's Monday!

Translation:

Get your rear end on the scale and see what they numbers say.

I've actually looked forward to it this week; even with only a few days of being back on WW, I feel a big difference. I'm also learning how dependant I am on food, which is crazy! But about three days in, I was going stark-raving mad on craving mood-swings. It's much better today, and I was even remotely tempted to dive into the chocolate cake at work, which was a first in a long time. I think my blood-sugar must be starting to balance out a little bit. I'm even starting to be more disciplined about eating breakfast and lunch again, which is a first in months.

Anyway (sorry to bore you!), here are our most current numbers:

Jonathan:
- Starting weight (1/1/2009): 340
- Last week's weight: 341
- Current weight: 339
Total pounds lost: -1

Debbie:
- Starting weight (1/1/2009): 230
- Last week's weight: 227
- Current weight: 224
Total pounds lost: -6

Yeah for us! A total of three pounds for the both of us, which is good since we only had half a week last week (we started back on WW last Wednesday). We are off and running strong towards a new week!

Okay, so it's been five months since we posted.

Not intentionally.

Life got crazy.

We made excuses.

I've picked up some really bad eating habits over the past few months in my new job (such as living on coffee all day, and then picking up take-out on the way home, and we both end up overeating on pretty unhealthy food).

So we started Weight Watchers again as of this week. Jonathan's been on and off of it, based on my eating habits, and it's been very hard for him to eat well when I'm not. We're learning this is something we have to do together, though it kills me as he gets 44 points each day and I only get 28. :-p Stepping on the scale to weight was scary, though, and a bummer - I'd gained back 8 pounds over the past five months that I had lost this fall. But we've done fairly well this week, and we'll post our weekly weigh-in this upcoming Monday, so stay tuned!